Perception of Life

Heart

2010-06-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

It feels heavy and immediately light

my heart is so confused!

It beats fast but still feels weak

I said "calm" - it refused.

Why is it that heart

is so disconnected from the brain?

You try to run away

But it still runs towards pain!

I know its hard for the heart

It has too much weight,

so many people running around in it

No time for ache to abate.

Hearts can handle so much -

ups and downs, like a sinus wave.

no wonder its relied upon

no wonder, for it, people crave

My new Blog

2008-10-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

Hi,

I've created a new blog and here is the link:
http://ashwinikumar.wordpress.com/

Hope you enjoy reading the postos on this new blog!

Thanks,
Ashwini

Wish with a swish….

2008-07-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Ganesh

Rule: Please thoughtfully consider the following, and choose one item for each of the categories below. (Be sure to describe your reasons for choosing)

1) One religious work from a non-familiar tradition you’ll read…

African tribal tradition...No...not because Pramod Kamath's language and behavior is very African jungle like . I watched the movie "Amistad" recently, absolutely unforgettable movie. Dialogues about traditions made me curious to know more.

2) One song that you like–from your ‘least likely to listen to’ genre…

"Twinkle twinkle little star" :) ....yes, Nursery rhymes...they are songs too.

3) A book from a genre you almost never read, that you have read, or you will read (promise!):

Bhagavat Gita ....I know I have to read it to live a life better, but I know I'll end up reading it when 3/4ths of my life is over I will read it though, someday.

4) Somewhere you’d never thought to go on holiday/vacation, and why it might be fun to go there?

To a five star resort....I hate going to such places for a vacation coz I wont get to do much. I may enjoy it later...later when I am 70 yrs old! Now, my idea of a vacation is camping

5) A specific food you’ve never tried, but will because of this meme, honest!

Flavored yogurt! Will try it someday, but I'm sure I wont like it.

6) A sport or game you really hate, or haven’t tried yet, but are willing to give one more go:

Golf! Feels like it's the most boring game ever.....so slow and so sleepy.... but, I'm sure that when I start playing it, I'll like it. Its nice to be in such a green environment.

7) A style of dance you probably won’t try (we won’t make you promise on this one)

Dappan Kuthu The Vadivelu style! Its so monkey like! Yup, my style :)...but I still will never try!

8 ) A career job you don’t feel you’re suited for, and why:

Road sweeper ...u see, I'm allergic to dust :(

9) What is it that you will dare to wear which you have never worn before?

Snake around my neck ... would love to do that someday!

10) If there’s one thing in life you wanted to do, and will do because of this meme, what will it be?

I will never write such a boring n serious post again!....I always wanted to write interesting and funny posts, but it turns out to be so serious all time :( Gans...help maadi

Beach Memories

2008-07-22T21:37:00.000-07:00

Pain, but no sword in my back
No thorns of roses in my hand
On my shoulders a big sack
A sack full of shells and sand
I can’t put it down anywhere
This bag full of sweet memory
Try hard to treasure it and care
But it fills me with ache and ire
Sweet old times near the beach
The old shells, they break
Wet feet dry and they teach
That old times can now be fake!

Threesome - Tagged

2008-07-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Every1,

This post is based on Ganesh's blog-post

3 People who Make Me Laugh (Just by seeing or by the jokes they crack?? )

Krishna (A funny cute close lovely fat friend-we call him Haathi...just remembering him makes me smile)
Srikanth (Mr. Bean/BJ/CB/Sriki)
Harit (oh! the funny fights we have)

3 Things I Hate

Missing loved ones
Missing out on treks that friends plan only when I'm away [I hope this pricks a few
Watching Star wars - keeps coming on TV, I'm fed up.

3 Things I Don’t Understand

Close friend's anger
how to react when people dont scold me for some dumb things I do
American Visa process

3 Things I’m Doing Right Now

Sitting on my sofa, sipping orange juice and typing this post.
Praying that I start work soon
Chatting with Ragima

3 Things I Can Do Right Now

Can go and sleep coz i need to wake up early
Can wake up Arun and then irritate him a lil
Can get mad at Gans for tagging me into this ...grrrr

3 Ways to Describe My Personality

Extrovert
Adventurous
Optimistic

3 More Ways to Describe My Personality

Patient
Kind
very modest ....hehehe..

3 Things I Cant do

Stop crying when I miss family
Stop calling friends as stupid
Stop fighting with Harit and Kitty.

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To

Moms - They are always right!
Winds on the mountain top
Heart!

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To

Ganesh singing, his recorded songs or his songs over the phone!
People forcing their ideas on you.
Death metal.

3+3 Absolute Favorite Foods

Curdrice with gooseberry pickle that Amma makes
Rasmalai
Pani puri/ Golgappa
Paneer Butter Masala
My sister's experimental dishes
Chocolates - MnMs/Gems

Hungry now :(

3 Things I’d Like to Learn

Driving in USA
Setting up a tent and starting a camp fire.
Cooking

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly

Orange juice
Orange juice
Orange Juice....and i still like it...never get bored of it.

3 Shows I Watched as a Kid

Potlibaba ki kahaani on DD. (puppet show)
He-Man/ Duck tails/Jungle book
Mind your Language

A new start

2008-04-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

I watched a piece of leaf
That’s torn apart in the winter;
Pushed by time to distant places
To places barren, with no shelter.
It’s made to face bad weather,
It’s not in the place it’s supposed to be,
Or is it where it was destined?
On the roof top, beside the chimney.

I watched it see the world from there,
Top view, as it is called;
Now, it had a better view than on the tree
From where the winds had it hauled.
Though the chimney protected -
From the winds of east, the piece,
It was not long before the snow storm
Put it on the ground with ease.

Next sunny morning, I see, with glee
Right on the spot where the leaf-piece fell,
A sapling, green, small and shiny
Sprouted through the melting snow, so tiny,
And I wonder if the leaf torn apart
Gave this life a new start!

Atypical day

2008-03-28T14:55:00.001-07:00

It seemed like a usual day in office, things were progressing at their own speed, and then suddenly my mother woke me up. "Wake up dear, or else you will miss the bus" she said. That is when I realized that a usual day to office and in office can only be a dream. My days are sometimes unusual, at times strange, other times abnormal and always atypical. I was just about to start thinking a little deeper, something that I do rarely, into this topic that crept into my head, when Amma's voice punched my ear. The voice from the kitchen at 6:45 am on a weekday yelling at me to get out of bed is something that is common, but the words used are always diverse. These words run across the animal kingdom - from a tiny insect like cockroach to a lazy buffalo, and are used alternatively in Tamil and Kannada. I ran to the kitchen to tell her that I am alive, awake and running around, which made her get back to her chores.

My dad drops me to the bus stop everyday and he has an adventure almost daily. Like a typical dad, he used to ride slowly, carefully and patiently before I started to motivate, kindle and pester him to ride super fast while chasing the Wipro bus. After negotiating with mom on the adequate quantity of breakfast for me, which differs for different types of breakfast, I ran downstairs to hop on to the bike where Appa was waiting for a long time. Appa had to do dirt bike racing and I finally caught the bus due to the proficient driving skills that he had acquired from the practice I had given him from the past one year. Even without looking at my dad's face (Cannot see his eyes and ears turned red with anger) I said "Thanks Pa" and ran into the bus.

My bus pal was waiting for me to start a fresh topic of debate in the BTM, Hosur and EC traffic jams. A funny fight about something new is an ideal kick start for a day in an otherwise boring bus where most people sleep or gravely brood over world economic growth. Today we spoke about death metal and how disgustingly melodious it is. I descended from the bus without falling down or hurting my limbs, which by itself is a rare event, and hurried to the customary breakfast with friends. Breakfast time is the break/spill and laugh time. I discover an indigenous and innovative way to encounter a food accident, day after day. The more careful I get, more carelessly food or juice spills and invariably on the person next to me.

After breakfast, I walked into my office to find my teammates all equipped to battle a new error or a hardware catastrophe. I started the project application and Lo!

Great Impact

2008-03-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

I went to Pune on Tuesday and Wednesday this week (This was written on Sept 10, 2006) which has made me continue my blog on Pune days. I realized that these memories, which are vividly running through my head, have to be written down. It is like a feeling that’s felt when a lightning flashes through the dark rainy night, a feeling of awe and a hope to see the spectacular sight again. Shoba and I finally found Platinum. It was a huge conference hall that could accommodate about 100 people. I have always been a back bencher. So, characteristically I went to the last row to sit. I found that the right side of the conference hall was occupied by the boys and the left side by the girls. This is the usual behavior of college students on the 1^st day. Soon, there were many people walking into this room and it looked like the 9^th semester of Engineering. A pretty looking lady entered the classroom (I prefer calling it a ‘Classroom’) and looking at her attire anyone would have guessed that she was a HR. She introduced herself as “Shweta” and, like a typical first day, asked us to introduce ourselves. Shweta is still the most talked about girl by all my Pune friends. “How is Shweta doing? I heard she is getting married; Please tell me it is just a rumor” are some of the first few questions asked by a Pune trained but Hyderabad or Bangalore posted guy asks when he meets a friend working at PDC.

“PLATINUM”, the name itself says it all. That was an abode of BWB group. No, I won’t tell you what BWB is right now. At least, the curiosity to know what that is will make you read on. As, the last benchers of Platinum, we were pretty infamous for all the noise and famous for our friendship. There are a lot of instances that made the bond grow, made it deeper and made me feel lucky. IMPACT Sessions: This was when it all began…..the beginning of a journey into the joyful memorable days. IMPACT is a 3 day session conducted to take the college students into the corporate world! (This was the purpose which never got served. I felt like a school kid after this!). The first game was called “BINGO”. We were made to run around to gather signatures against some actions that were printed. Getting 30 signatures in 1 minute was a tough job. There were some speaking sessions, some sessions in which we watched videos of how to handshake, how to ask questions and how to sit on a chair when the chair is not letting you do it (!). There was game calling “POT THE BALL” in which we realized that Shoba was a born politician . There was a game where we needed to close our eyes and form a human (not chain but) square. That was when Purvesha and I were yelling at Sankshep not knowing he wasn’t allowed to talk. There was this humorous business letter session in which our team was to write a letter to the PM requesting him to grant 3 days leave to Shrikanth as he had to attend his engagement. It was rejected once (and obviously the engagement could not go on without him!). We spent most of the time laughing at the topic and teasing Shrikanth. When there was 5 mins left we just gave the pen and huge drawing sheet to Vinay. Vinay drew this beautiful letter (I used the word “drew” because the letter looked like a piece of art more than just a letter. His handwriting is excellent) which was voted the best amongst the 5 letters written by other teams.

We were to prepare scripts and enact dramas in about an hour’s time. There were a few plays that cannot be forgotten. One such play is the one where Ganesh was a husband and Mansi was his wife. Mansi yelled at Ganesh all though out the drama and Ganesh has decided he won’t get married (in real life) till he buys 3 TVs. There was a play in which Mukul was a boss who constantly talked on phone and his dialogue “Hello Baby” is famous till date. In the same session Krishna acted like this South Indian angry boss with a Mallu accent which was hilarious. One more comical play was about a head on collision of a truck (driven by Ashutosh) and a Merc (driven by Sankshep) and how these two drivers sorted out the fight. The tone and voice of Ashu and Sanky was very well modulated and their expressions were just right to make us all laugh till the end of the play; and kept us smiling all thought that day. There was an introduction round in which we have to form pairs and give the introduction of the other. Sonal Premi became the daughter of Azim when she was introduced as “Sonal Premji”. Arjun came up to the stage and said “Hi friends, meet my latest friend …mmmm ….Sh…Shhhh…. He is from Mumbai. His name is Aaa….mmm….Shhhh” and a voice from the audience said “Srikanth”. We all laughed like crazy. Then, when Arjun was ending his introduction he said “So, this is what I know about my new friend Srinath” which triggered a roar of laughter in the classroom. Jayendranath was angered when Ganesh called him a pumpkin while introducing him, and when it was Jonny’s turn to introduce Ganesh , with all the rage and fury he had inside him , he called him “Carrot” (he he he ). That’s what we call Ganesh from then on.

“Dream Company” was the topic of the project that we needed to do and this was the last session of our Impact classes. We even made logos and models of the Logos for our dream company. We did this project with so much energy and oomph that the trainer was impressed by our batch. There was a sad feeling when the Impact classes ended because we thought the fun had ended too, but little did we know that fun had just begun.

Don’t you worry; I won’t be explaining the other days of my training as exhaustively as I have done here. It is because I don’t remember being awake in those classes.

In the search of "Platinum" I found a golden friend

2008-03-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

I was standing in the queue for getting an employee pass. Somewhere, from the front of the queue, I heard two people talking in Kannada. Shoba, as soon as she heard the sweet sounding Kannada language, turned towards me and said, “We’ve go company!” I entered into PDC with the employee pass pinned up. When I went to pick up the umbrellas kept near the entrance, I heard the Kannada guys conversing about their train journey. Shoba and I shared an umbrella while these two boys shared another. The Wipro umbrellas are huge and multi-coloured, strong enough to withstand a storm, big enough to shelter 4 people, but never enough in number. I started to walk straight to the tower that looked nice. I had no clue where to go and Shoba came up with this brilliant idea of asking these two Kannada boys. We made friends with the two Kannadigas and the four of us went searching for the conference hall where our induction was to be held. These two guys were my first PDC friends. One of them was Ganesh.

Friendship with Ganesh has been very memorable. I was there with him when he joined Wipro and was there with him when he quit. The 10 months of his friendship seems like 10 years. Our friendship started with the walk in the drizzle on the grass of PDC and I am sure I will be walking along with this dear friend till the end of time. He is now doing his MBA in Mumbai. Mumbai is where he was born and the place he did his schooling. So, besides being a Kannadiga, he was a Mumbaikar.

It makes me wonder, whenever I see Ganesh, how a person can be so jovial and naughty though he has some deep wounds in his heart!!! Ganesh and I traveled back from Hyderabad to Bangalore on 16^th Apr. There was a re-union of my Pune training group in Hyderabad after 7 months of our profound friendship. People traveling back to B’lore (7 of us) could not get seats in the same bus. So, Ganesh and I took the earlier of the two busses while the other 5 started 2 hours after us. This 12 hour bus ride was one of the most unforgettable journeys of my life. Ganesh had no time to wipe his own tears as he was busy consoling me. I wept on his shoulders for more than 4 hours because I dint want to leave my friends and come back to Bangalore. He knew exactly how I was feeling and never yelled at me for over-reacting (I know I should have controlled my tears, but I dint want to….I just wanted to cry it all out). Instead, he made me realize that friends will always be there next to me, just that I should feel their presence, not see.

As Shoba, Ganesh, Amog and I searched, in PDC, for the conference room called “PLATINUM”; we talked about our travel to Pune, where we stay in B’lore, where we were goin to stay in Pune and other topics that new friends talk about.

Goodbye to Appa

2008-03-28T14:45:00.000-07:00

I was woken up by the alarm and to my surprise I saw Shoba already awake. She was chanting something kneeling in front of the Idols of God that we had kept in the corner the hall. As I unpacked a few things the previous night, I took out the idols that I had carried from home and placed it beside the ones Shoba had kept. I woke up in a hurry, got ready and knelt down to pray. As I prayed to God, I realized that he was the one I needed the most. My trust in him grew deeper.

Both Shoba’s dad and Appa came to our room to see if we were ready to leave. It was drizzling outside and it was a perfect weather to start off my professional life. Poornima, Shoba and I walked to the bus stop and both the Dads followed behind. Bus came and everyone was climbing in. As I climbed in, I waved to my Dad. I looked at him with a heavy heart but with a smile on my face and my Dad had a smile too, the same kind of smile that I was smiling. We knew that this would be the last time we would see each other for the next one and a half months. I said “Thanks” loudly as I peeped out of the window and he smiled back. He knew I would be fine and I knew he needed me back home but he would be fine too.

It’s a strange relationship that a daughter and a father share, especially with the eldest daughter. My Dad loves my younger sister. Dad loves me too, but not as much as he loves my sister. More than love, Dad takes pride in me; he shares his problems and takes suggestions from me. He treats me like a friend than a daughter. That’s how I treat him too. We tease each other, we fight, we play cards, we watch cartoons, we share thoughts, we say sorry and thank you and we trust. He does all this with my sister too, but with a feeling of love and with a feeling of a young kid with him. That’s not the case with me. So, as I bid good bye I knew I would miss a friend more than a family member.

We reached PDC in half an hour. My Hostel was about 13 kms away from office. I saw a lake, an army camp and some really big autos on my way to office. The bus stopped right in front of the gate.

Just Reached

2008-03-28T14:43:00.001-07:00

I reached Pune just one night before I was to join Wipro. I was confident that my new friends would have done all the necessary arrangements. Not once did I think I was overconfident and I was not wrong. I was not proved wrong even for a single moment during my stay at Pune. My new friends were there to help me from the time I got down from the auto in front of the “Nagras Estate” till the time I reached Bangalore. No, “Nagras Esate” was not an estate and not even close to it. It was the name of 5 block apartment. One of the blocks is rented by ICFAI (Management School) as its student hostel and that was where we stayed. Shoba and I were roomies and we shared an apartment with 5 ICFAI girls.

The night I reached Pune, I as usual, started to crack really poor jokes, for which my new friends laughed forcefully. Laughter is the first step of bonding. It makes the people around comfortable and is the best way to start off a friendship. That was the whole idea of my PJs and I know it helped. Looking at me at that point of time any one would have laughed - The chocolate chipped biscuit packet in my hand, my mouth constantly munching on the biscuits with absolutely no tension on my face, while Shoba’s dad and my dad were on a deep discussion of issues like the rent and deposit. So, may be it wasn’t my PJ that helped.

After some laughter and some serious discussion, which I was forced to be a part of, I was finally taken to the apartment in which I was to spend my 40 days. My hostel house (I prefer calling it a house) was on the 4^th floor and thankfully there was an elevator. With a new SIM card in my left hand, suitcase in my right and a hand bag on my shoulder, I entered the house. The hall was huge and of course, it had to be spacious because 7 of us were to share an apartment. The best part of the hall, apart from being big was it was airy; there was a large window with beautiful brown curtains. Added to the well ventilated hall, there was a nice balcony from where the sidewalk of the apartment and a few roads were visible. I am talking so much about the hallway because this was the place Shoba and I had to inhabit. There were 2 large rooms which the other 5 girls had occupied. There was a dining hall just beside the hallway which was converted into a place for drying clothes in the rainy season and place where utensils are kept. There were 2 bathrooms which I thought was less for the 7 of us. All residents of the hostel were given a cupboard, a study table and a bed each.

After a formal introduction with my roommates, Shoba, Poornima and I went out to make phone calls to friends and relatives. Poornima was a little older to Pune than Shoba and me. She was from a training batch that started a week before ours. So, it was Poornima who had to answer all the queries I had about the training at PDC (Pune Development Center) like canteen, pantry, classrooms and transportation (in the same order). Poor Poori; I don’t know if I irritated her but she answered all of them with a lot of patience.

I am still talking about the day I missed getting down at the Pune station. Yes, it was a long day. My dad had a long and a tough day too. He went with Shoba’s dad to have a look at the area my hostel was located, bought me an umbrella and an iron box, and made the required payment to the owner and broker.

I slept late that night with thoughts of home and Bangalore still lingering in my mind.

On my way to Pune

2008-03-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Day -1:

Yeah, I am starting from the days I had not yet reached Pune. A day before I departed from Bangalore my house was in a huge mess. Sweets, clothes, bags, tissue papers and people were at every corner of my house. People came to visit me like I am going for a 40 day battle. I was imagining my Pune days to be a battle too. This was the first time I would be away from home for that long. I was excited, and that was vividly seen in my behavior. What was not evident to other people was the worry and panic in me. A new place, new environment, new people, new kind of food and a new life, these were tensing me up. I knew I had to face this someday and after college, such situations would be a common phenomenon. Adaptation was the new rule that had to be followed, but would I be good at it?

Day 0:

It’s important to talk about this day because it will give a comparison of how I was when I left for Pune and how I was when I left Pune. My train was at 8pm and I reached there with 3 huge bags of luggage about half an hour before the departure. My dad was coming to Pune with me. It was my mother’s strict orders for my dad to make sure I am staying in a safe area and I have everything that I needed for 40 days. Dad was confident that I will do just fine, but my Mom, like all the Moms in the world, was worried. I reached the platform to find my friends already there waiting for me. My friends Kitty, Lampi and Desai made fun of me because I was looking happy leaving home. My mom joined them too and soon my sister and Dad. My cousin came running to the station about 5 mins before the train left. Geetha gave me chocolates for the journey and all in all I had about 2 kgs of eatables, 2 books, 3 cassettes and a walkman for my 20 hour train journey.

I started the journey chatting with my dad about my two new friends who would stay with me in the hostel. Poornima and Shoba had reached there before me and I was happy that there were at least two people I know who I can spent time with. Poornima and Shoba were from my college but I did not know both of them. It was when both of them called me up about 10 days before I left and told me about the hostel and food, that I got to know them. I had met them just once before I saw them in Pune.

Appa and I had an awful tasting train dinner and I went to the uppermost berth to sleep. That’s when I started to think about how much I am going to miss home, miss my Mom, miss fighting with my sister, miss home food, miss all the pampering, miss my friends , miss my cousins, miss my dog and miss my Scooty ( without which I would almost be crippled). The only thing I was happy about was that I was leaving Bangalore. I have stayed in Bangalore ever since I was born and 23 years in the same place will get anybody bored. So, I wept and I cried and I sneezed and I wiped my tears and then I cried again. This went on all night. I spoke to my mother about 10 times that night. She cried too. So, most of the journey was spent crying. Dad did not know how to react!

That wasn’t it; the journey was a hilarious one, though not at that point of time. The train stoped in Pune for about half hour and moved ahead towards Mumbai. Yes, u r thinking right! We did not get down at Pune. Both Dad and me were fast asleep (I had cried all night and I needed some sleep). Thank god we woke up before the train reached Lonavala, else we would have gone to Mumbai. People all around us were laughing, while Dad and I dint know what to do. Then we got down at Lonavala station, caught the local train to Pune with the help of some of our train friends and reached Pune 4 hours late. Poornima, Shoba and Shoba’s Dad were very worried. When we reached the hostel and narrated the story, they all had a good laugh and so did Dad and me.

I Hate My Enemy

2008-03-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I hate, I hate, and I really do
More than anyone can possibly do
I hate, I hate so much and more
Deep as ocean, extended as shore
I keep saying this to myself, all the time
But what's wrong with this heart of mine?
Why can't it understand what my minds says
Mind screams, I hate to even see the face
My heart, why can't it agree?
It is still fervent to see
See the person who had it bleed
To my heart, I preach and plead -
"Cant you forget and move on,
That person is dead and gone"
My heart, I wish I could throw away
At least that would stop it say -
"I miss, I adore, I love, and I care
Though I have wounds, cuts and tears"
To my heart I don't want to yield
Have to cover it with an obdurate shield
I have to live like this and with this I have to die
Keep telling myself that I hate, yes, it's a lie
Everyone have to face this, it's not just me
It happens if you love your enemy

Hand To Hold

2008-03-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

When the stars shine bright

And moon is glowing too

We can find our way through

But when it's a cloudy night

With no moon light

You'll need me and I'll need you

We can live life all on our own

Don't have to give or to share

Do whatever we think is fair

But when life seems torn

And your heart feels thrown

You'll feel the need for love and care

Many may praise you high

You always want people who extol

But they'll stab you when you loll

You need some to be frank and not lie

To pull you back to earth from sky

Only they will pick you up from a fall

You can never sail in life alone

Everyone needs a pillar of love

To respect your heart and not shove

Laugh with you and in grief to mourn

Someone you can call your own

And a hand to hold when up above

Perception

2008-03-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

A look into those enchanting eyes; Lost in it, I found no return

Heart beats seem to have stopped as those eyes glowed in rays of Sun

I search for you during lonely nights

Only to find, in my mind, your eyes; two twinkling lights

You crept into my life and life transformed

Felt a support when it snowed and stormed

I imagined sailing with u all through

Hoped this dream would turn true

But you termed this as a passing moment

Leaving my heart to grieve and torment

You saw friendship, but love was my perception

I called you life while you named it co-incidence and a situation

My soul needs to accept this, but it kills

Writing this as my pain flows down through my heart and spills

A Rainy Thought

2008-03-27T16:19:00.000-07:00

To feel the cold wind caress

I moved the curtains, opened the pane

Although strong, they gently stroked my face

To let me know the onset of rain.

I, could smell the moist mud,

See dark clouds filling the sky;

Amid the clouds the crimson sun;

Trees swaying and birds fly.

A puppy strolling on the street

Ran to take refuge under the tree,

I noticed tiny water droplets descend

Yes, it’s heaven’s happiness spree!

Though it was just a drizzle

I saw the grass gleam,

On my nose, I felt a tickle

Against the window, as I lean

I ran to the door and flung it open,

Ran to street, looked above to see

With great joy, I looked around too

To find no one around, it was just me

Suddenly, the rain started to pour

And the sky began to roar

I ran back home, to the window again

Now, I stand here to watch the rain

And some thoughts with none to share

“Is it the rain or life that’s unfair?”

A long way to go

2008-03-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

I have to go a long way from where I stand

Beyond the seven seas into an unknown land

Everything there is flowery with shine

Everything around is faultless and fine

But unexpressed feelings, would anyone understand?

I have to fly far away, into a distant place

Won't meet anyone with a familiar face

Modern people, fresh ideas, a sweet melody

A new life to start with new everybody

But will this change give me peace and solace?

A truck load of anxiousness, fear and worry

I will conceal them all, will let go, will just bury

Life moves on, I need to reform

I can go places and face any storm

Need my love with me and just enough baggage to carry

Hope

2008-03-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

No spark in the eye
No smile on the face
Gazing at the cloudy sky
In an unfamiliar place

The fragrance of flowers
The odor of rain
Brings no feeling of joy
But soaks my spirit in pain

Don’t know how far and long
From home I must be apart
In search of the fragments
Of my shattered heart

The pieces are numerous
They are fragile and small
Each one is so distant
Don’t know if I’ll find them all

Hope is all that’s left in me
Hope is the guiding light
Hope I can fix my injured heart
And make my dark world bright